Super Bowl Musings: Shut up, Media. January 31, 2006

I’m not asking you to write happy-happy joy-joy propaganda about the Super Bowl; I’m just saying. Nobody is forcing you to be there, right? Therefore, my point is simply this: if you don’t want to be there, I know dozens of people who would; me in particular. Email me, tell me you don’t want to be there, and I’ll send you the info to FedEx me your press credentials, hotel, rental car reservations and paycheck…because I would like to be there. You can go home, troll around with your families, and watch the game on your HD set. Either that, or just quit complaining all the time; find a golf course or driving range, go cross-border to Windsor and find a stripper, a slot machine, or a poker table, and don’t waste your time writing a 500-word diatribe about how you hate the teams, haate the city, and haaate being at the Boringest Super Bowl Ever.

A Call to Brass January 29, 2006

I’m tired of being represented by a bunch of Mr. Rogers’s wannabes. You represent the people, and the people are not interested in being nice anymore. If you don’t want to engage anyone in a fight, then just resign your posts, and we’ll put people in who are interested in fighting. I’m no longer going to tolerate quitters, cowards, or ignorant people in either party anymore. And I’m holding the Democrats to a much higher standard than the Republicans; frankly, because the National Republicans don’t give a fuck one way or the other.

They control the media, and as a result, the media is 95% full of right-wing ass-kissers. They are more organized in getting their bullshit to market, and they just don’t give a shit about you yellow assed Democrats. And what do you do about it?

Exactly.

You don’t do a damn thing.

The Shrill Sound of Da Food Police January 20, 2006

First off, the CSPI Cuisine Cops need to back the hell up, here. What is a grievance going to solve? It doesn’t mean that people will stop buying Cocoa Puffs, now will it? And it’s a narrowcast target at that: the only reason why CSPI is targeting Viacom is because of everyone’s favorite bandwagon whipping-boy, Spongebob Squarepants. Because he’s on one of Kellogg’s cereal boxes, and because that cereal is advertised on Nickelodeon, a channel that families watch. And they have only been marketing to kids of all ages since…well, April 1, 1979—the day they signed on the cable airwaves. Out of all the legions of so-called cartoon characters that have graced, and continue to grace the cover of dozens of cereal boxes, and yet now we have a problem with cartoon characters on sugary cereal boxes? Oh, no…It isn’t a coincidence at all.

Am I missing something, here? Where was CSPI in the midst of the early nineties, when Burger King had the BK Kids clubs, which were also cartoons? Oh, that’s right: they were flip-flopping on their position from ‘yay’ to ‘nay’ on trans-fats that the fast-food restaurants had switched to…at the beckoning of the Cuisine Cops themselves! Hypocrites.