A Star-Spangled Non-Issue April 30, 2006

I’m going to make it clear where I stand on this anthem issue: I really couldn’t care less. I don’t care that they sung the National Anthem in Spanish. No, really, I don’t. Moreover, I’m not going to work myself into a indignant furor over it either. Do you really think that this is any more of an outrage than that of the collusion of the oil and energy companies, or that of corruption on the Hill, or the failure of war in Iraq?

I don’t recall all this self-righteous indignation over the Anthem when Carl Lewis butchered it in 1993. Or when Roseanne Barr destroyed it 1991. Really, of all the things we should be upset about as a nation, we’re furious over this? Are you kidding me? This is so reminiscent of when some jackass congressman (I forget who) decided that it was time to change French fries into “Freedom Fries”, because France wouldn’t bow down and support the Iraq offensive. I’m sorry, my conservative friends, but I’m not about to take this okey-doke and run with it. It’s not an issue to me.

In Detroit, 911 is No Laughing Matter April 11, 2006

I don’t care what the Chief of the Detroit Police Department says; this isn’t something that you can easily explain away with excuses. No, what happened with this six-year-old kid in Detroit, what with him calling 911 to try to save his mother’s life, only to be chastised by a couple of assumptive and condescending 911 operators is ridiculous, and said operators should be fired! Period, exclamation point; end of sentence.

Warning: [sarcasm implied here] April 6, 2006

They have read something in a paper that was transcribed and cut by a filter, instead of going right to the source—like any journalist worth his trade would do. The result here was a button-push backlash sparked by typical shoddy and tabloid journalism by Newsweek and wire sources, who just type a bunch of crap, then send it out, without regard to context or truth.

Because anyone who can read anything other than one-liners can clearly see that, in the EW article, Stern was being sarcastic! Hello, anyone ever hear of sarcasm? I’m beginning to think that we need a marker that reads [sarcasm implied here] so that we don’t have this kind of fallacy play out in the media. On the other hand, maybe we need to have mandatory remedial reading courses for adults, before they send angry emails and letters for nothing except to puff their chests out, thumb their noses at the world, and be ever so proud of themselves.